She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
