eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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