I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
How's work?
Spinning.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
