i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We don't watch enough power rangers
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
