the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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