i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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