Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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