i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
