I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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