I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
