I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
