DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
