If i come over, it means nothing
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
