Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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