just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
