Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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