I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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