Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
