OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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