is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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