Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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