We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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