she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
