I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
