You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
