If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
