and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
