Do you still have your period?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
