I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
