I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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