Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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