when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
