I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
