He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
