When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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