He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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