i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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