i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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