rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
