Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
