In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
