when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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