u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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