I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
