I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Randomize
