I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
