sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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