So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
