Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
