Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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