I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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